Tuesday, August 10, 2004

The World Of Dreams

I get up slowly; I am slowly getting to the terms of reality. I rub my eyes to make sure where I really am. Everything comes in perfect focus, and I realize the silliness I had made. I laugh at myself when I look at or think of

There I see her again and happiness comes back flooding.

I go towards her and say Hi!!

She replies "Hello". She's in happy and cheerful mood. Her face is beaming with joy.

I really want to tell her something, like how I feel about her.

In order to get going, I gather some courage and ask how's your work? That's the usual question, even I know all about her work, how it's going; but nothing could I do. I want this communication to continue, to go on an on as long as possible.

It's going on, as it should be.

And how is that?

Does that matter? You wanted to say something isn't it?

I take it; it's going on smoothly. I am trying to stretch the conversation as far as possible.

She replies teasingly "Yes! And what had you expected, a trouble, a disaster. And then you can offer me help to clean up the mess?"

I almost feel like I am a fool and I look here and there.

She's still there, smiling, in the pleasant mood, cheerful mood, with a questioning face as to what I really want to tell her or ask her.

We chat for sometime, cover wide variety of topics, almost all what we can think of. Right from the state of roads to the politics, from art to films, from present to past, from places to traveling, from money to Business. I look at my watch; it's almost two hours now. No I am not in hurry, or I want to go away from her. But the main thing that I wanted to tell her is still untold.

Then suddenly she asks me, you wanted to tell me something special, well what is it?

I find myself completely at the loss of words. I suddenly get hundred's of questions, How do I start this? How do I tell her? What happens if she gets angry? What will she think?

Some time passes in utter silence. I can hear the sound of falling pin somewhere. I hate this silence of uncertainty. An uneasy feeling creeps in. I am almost glued to the place I am standing. Somebody has stitched my mouth, or cut my tongue. I can talk about hundred's of things but just could not talk about it. I look at her; she's still waiting for me to say something.

She tells me finally, she has to go now, and it's late for her art class.   I am still standing at the same place, as if I am frozen and looking at her image, which is moving far with every passing moment towards the setting sun.

When she's no longer visible, I start to walk towards my bike. I start my bike. I am still thinking, about the meeting. I still think perhaps I would have told her how much I love her and then waited for her reaction. I think that she knows this, but she's waiting for me to tell her. I don't know when I fell.

I get up slowly; ... I rub my eyes... everything comes in perfect focus. I realize the hard fact that I have in fact not fallen from my bike. I smile, and then I go back again; again to the world where everything's possible, who knows she might be back again to hear what I really wanted to say, to the world filled with sweet dreams.


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